A collection of jokes – “borrowed” and/or adapted from various sites. Please feel free to add your favourite joke or story to the page -or send it to be included in the next issue.
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Two peasants were walking down the Viktel Aria when one said, “Where did you get such a nice thalarion?”
The second peasant replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful free woman rode up on this thalarion. She jumped off to the ground, took off all her robes and said, “Take what you want.”
“The second peasant nodded approvingly, “Good choice. The robes probably wouldn’t have fit.”
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An escaped thrall broke into a house and found a young couple who had been sleeping in their furs. He found the man’s axe and under threat of death bound the couple.
As soon as he had a chance, the man turned to his voluptuous young companion, bound up on the bed naked and whispered, “My dear, this thrall hasn’t been with a woman in many hands. Just cooperate with anything he wants. If he wants to fur you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it.
“My dear,” the woman hissed, spitting out her gag, “I’m so relieved you feel that way, because he just told me he thinks you have a really nice, tight-looking ass!”
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I was sitting in the Ubar’s council chambers, and relaxing with my legs propped up and my sexy little slut had come over to me, walking in the manner that makes a Man take notice. Her ass swayed with rythmic movements, reminding me of how gentle at times, that a warm breeze across the land tends to cover you. Her eyes, blue as Thassa with the white sand beaches, so cool and so inviting. I then leaned forward in to my chair, after all at times the mere movements of a female’s body shows well to a man her intention. When she licked her lips, the moisture of her own tongue against the deep kiss of ruby to her mouth, made my own throat dry, For now I had a thirst that needed to be quenched, the way her lips glistened reminded me of my own when I took of the Larma its juices running down my own chin to my chest.
She had moved to my right side and then placed her hands on my right thigh, her light flexing of her fingers against my leathers, having stirred in me the same reaction to my very sight of such a creature. When she reached to my leathers and had undone the last toggle, I couldn’t help but let a slow breath of anticipation out for this girl is trained in the very arts of not just pleasing,, but of the insatiable appetite of satisfying a Man. She took me from my leathers, her grip was that of the feeling of almost silk gliding over me.
My Ubara walked into the room at the very moment I looked at the girl and said “well little one, what do you think we should do with it now.” As if on que my Ubara laughed and said “Ubar why not have the girl wash it now that you got the wrinkles out.”
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Tarl Doe strode into the bedroom, wearing His Gorean warrior suit. He sneered at the bound and gagged figure on the furs as He reached into His larl fur bag.
fawn Doe, a 29 yr. old schoolkajira, looked up at her Master, her eyes a mixture of fear and desire. she gasped as He brought a quiva with a 9 inch blade out of the bag. “I saw something on the Internet which I want us to try,” Hesaid Masterfully. “Are you willing?”
fawn nodded eagerly and mumbled “yeff Mastfer.”
Tarl smiled as He bent close and cut her free of her bonds. “Strip!” He ordered, as He began to remove His own clothes.
fawn quickly compiled, wondering what new delights her beloved Master had in store for her. “Lay back on the bed!” He commanded.
fawn did so. Tarl then laid on top of her. “Tonight, my dear… ” He whispered whilst reaching for the light switch, “we are going……….. Vanilla!”
“NOOOOOOoooooooooo!” Cried fawn as the room plunged into darkness.The above tale is true. Tarl eventually left fawn to move in with a vanilla wife. They now have a 24/7 vanilla lifestyle, regularly enjoying home improvements, Tupperware parties, and having sex 3 times a year. fawn was more fortunate and now attends Vanillas Anonymous, and with help and guidance she is slowly recovering. Only last week she was able to stand up and say “i have the right to more than one sex position.”
Vanilla is dangerous and should not be practiced at home. If anyone offers you vanilla sex, just say NO.
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A RED HUNTER decides to move to the Desert after 50 years of living on the ice.
He buys a small piece of land near an oasis. A few days after moving in, a neighbour decides to go across and welcome the new guy to the region. So he goes next door, but before reaching his new neighbour’s camp, he sees the Hunter running around chasing a bunch of vulos. Not wanting to interrupt this obviously “Red Hunter custom,” he decides to put the welcome on hold for the day.
The next day, he decides to try again, but just as he is about to enter the tent, he looks through the window and sees the Hunter urinate into a glass and then drink it. Not wanting to interrupt another obviously “Red Hunter custom,” he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day.
A day later he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the Hunter leading his bosk down the lane, pause, and then put his head right behind the bosk’s ass as the beast shits all over the place. The Nomad can’t handle this, so he goes up to the Red Hunter and says, “What the hell is it with your Innuit customs? I come over to welcome you to the camp and see you running around chasing vulos, pissing in a glass and drinking it, and then today, you put your head right up next to that bosk’s ass as he was shitting.
The Hunter man is very taken back and says, “You no understand, these are no customs of my people, these are customs of the Tahari.”
“What do you mean” asks the Tribesman, “Those aren’t customs.of the desert”
“Yes they are”, replied the Red Hunter, “for you see, in order for me to feel at home here I must chase chicks, drink piss, and listen to bosk shit!”
Note!! In Earth version the Tribesman is Australian !!
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Q: How can you tell the Torvaldslander is in the hospital?
A: He’s the one blowing the foam off of his bedpan.
*laughs* umm.. news flash.. Aussie Tribesmen would only chase chicks with big boobs, only drink quality piss (beer or Bundy Rum), and they never listen to bs.. lol.. they’re too busy spinning it.. *winks*
{karimah}Å«Fo§»